Things I learnt from Swahili for the Broken-Hearted

  • Taking ‘The Africa Option’ began in the 19th Century as a term for men who had run away to Africa to escape life in Europe.
  • ‘Necklacing’ is slang for when a car tyre is placed on the victim’s neck, doused in petrol and then set on fire
  • During Apartheid, a pencil would be stuck in someone’s hair to determine which race they were. If the pencil stayed in the hair, they were coloured, if it fell out they were white.
  • One ostrich egg is the equivalent of 24 chicken eggs.
  • If you are ever attacked by an ostrich it is best to lay flat on the ground as their knee structure only allows them to kick their leg straight out.
  • Tolkien was born in Bloemfontein in South Africa, but there is no mention of him in the town, not even a plaque. His first home is now cheap furniture shop.
  • The people of Basotho have an array of blankets for each occasion in which they drape themselves. But blankets were only introduced in the 19th century by missionaries who felt the natives’ clothes were a bit too skimpy.
  • Mozambique’s coat of arms in a hoe crossed with an AK-47.
  • ‘I’ve long held that you can judge a country’s economic plight by the umber of goats it has.’
  • The horror stories and warnings of the Bible, plagues, famine, disaster are easy to take lightly living in the west but in Africa these are daily realities. Does this affect their beliefs?
  • There was a time when you couldn’t enter Malawi unless you could show the border guards that you could slide a coke bottle between you leg and the inside of your jeans! This was a result of the then presidents visit to hippie America, who upon his return announced no skinny jeans and long hair!
  • Nanyuki is a small agricultural town in Kenya that sits directly on the Equator and as a result every shop in town manages to factor ‘Equator’ in to its name.
  • Ethiopia keeps a different time to the rest of the world and instead works on a 12 hour rotation that starts and ends with the sunrise and sunset. What you would call 7am in Ethiopia would actually be 1 o’clock for locals, as it’s 1 hour since the start of the day (sunrise).
  • Though Tutankhamun’s tomb is famous and your ticket price will reflect that, it is actually one of the smaller tombs in the cave. The reason it’s so popular is because it wasn’t discovered until 1922 and its treasure has been protected. This was possible because it had been built in a rush and hidden beneath more important tombs and so when bandits stole gems and gifts meant for the afterlife from the other 61 tombs they completely missed Tutankhamun’s.
  • Check out the monasteries of Lake Tana in Ethiopia!

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